It’s not a secret that law enforcement officers (LEO’s) and law enforcement officer wives (LEOW’s) don’t have a lifestyle that compares to the Joneses next door. The truth is, if one of the Joneses came over for an unexpected visit, one of you would be running around the house hiding firearms.
I believe that there is a lack of credit given to people in the LEO community. The amount of stress that is experienced daily challenges you to no end. This includes something horrific that an officer experiences in their day. We don’t need to get into the nuances that a single day of work may bring.
As a spouse, you are responsible for lending an ear when needed and providing unconditional love and support. For the most part, a LEOW is the glue that binds the family together. She will try her best to allow things to carry on at home and in family life, whether he is home or not.
Your Perceptions
You experience life and death at it’s best and worst. LEO’s are the first invited into the homes where someone’s life is falling apart. While others are screaming in panic, your developed craft of remaining composed and orderly is what allows you to see the things that others do not in these moments.
The American Institute of Stress published a study that showed that 28% of American’s experience stress due to people issues at work. In the study, 46% complained of workload, 20% had difficulty juggling work and personal lives, and 6% stressed out about job security. Could you imagine how varied this study would be if conducted on LEO’s and LEOW’s versus Americans?
Your Thoughts and Opinions Make You Who You Are
You finally have a night off to go out to eat out with your spouse. The two of you just settle into your booth while the kid behind you starts screaming his head off. A French fry is tossed to the other side of the room. Each of you share a glance with eager anticipation for the volume to turn down soon.
As a LEO, you experience an immediate spike in heartrate. Although you’re seated at the booth facing the entrance (as you always are), the people in the table behind you is enough to make you uneasy. Adding a vocal toddler into the mix wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for a night out.
Your LEOW is handling the situation much differently. Her nurturing instincts make her want to go and grab the child herself to coo him into calmness. Instead, she gently places her hand on top of yours. This simple gesture creates a calm that you instantly feel transmitted as though it’s some mystical power that she has over you.
After what seems like the entire dinner, the toddler finally leaves with his family. Silence.
Instantly, the two of you begin to share your opinions. The LEO expresses his dissatisfaction for the unruly parents. In contrast, the LEOW identifies how young the two parents were and suggests a different approach than that of which they were doing.
Neither opinion is wrong. Both were incredibly unique based off of your life experiences and how you viewed the world in that single moment.
You see, I believe that the ability that we have to see life through our own optical lens is one of our greatest superpowers. This allows us to generate a thought based on reflection.
We create an opinion based on experience. In turn, we use our experience to assess the situation and to decide what we like and don’t like based on what we have seen in the past. You are doing the world a disservice if you do not use this reality that only you see and share it with others.
Your Experience
The way that you were raised is the first inkling into the perception of your reality. What you are exposed to in school or other activities such as church and sports is what begins to mold your perception.
There is a reason why chatting with an elder is so thought provoking. The years of experience that they have under their belt allows their perception of reality to be vastly different than yours. This sparks a great interest in most of us that are willing to listen.
It is my belief that the era in which one grew up has a dramatic impact on their experience and perception of life. We have heard the term ‘old fashioned’ and we may relate that to our folks or grandparents. I don’t believe it would be too far-fetched to say that others may consider you old fashioned depending on how deep your roots run.
Holding onto the values and truths carried throughout life from older generations that we love and respect is important. Deciding when to stray away from the path for something greater? Well, that is a gift to us all.
Discovering Your Truths
Have you ever thought about who you really are, what your values are and what you stand for the most? I’m not talking about how you were raised. I’m asking you to consider these questions despite your upbringing.
This may seem impossible to most. Many of my clients have a missing piece in their life because they were never given an opportunity to discover their truths for themselves.
I want to challenge you to the opportunity to create your own truths my friends. We do this by deciding which elements of our upbringing truly serve us.
Do we agree with 100% of our religious practices? Are we believing in this religion because we decided to or because our parents took us to the church with that denomination?
Is it really necessary to work a 40+ hour workweek to live the All American Dream? Could there be another way to still have the pride of a hard work ethic without feeling like there is no time to actually enjoy that dreamlife?
What about your diet? Are you eating foods that are created based on recipes that were passed down to you? Do these foods serve you and your family in terms of nutrition and fuel?
I know that there is another way and it all begins with finding your truths and realizing who you are based on your criteria. You are incredible and the only way to let the world see your incredible is for you to get real with who you really are.
LEO Warriors, if any of this resonates with you, I want you to know that you are not alone. I think that a primitive warrior exists inside of you that is begging to come out. I can’t wait to meet you and help to uncover this for you. Sign up for our newsletter and click on our coaching link to schedule your first coaching session. Follow us on Instagram and Like us on Facebook @leowarriors1.
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